Saturday 5 September 2009

Thaings that go bump in the night

Now, I don't frighten easily, it's a Reddick (mum) trait. Been in hairy situations and didn't bat an eyelid, so why when the family decide to leave me in the house to sleep two nights on my own do I do the following........

1...Check all the downstairs windows...twice
2...Make sure all the doors are locked
3...Check again the above accroutements
4...Make sure all the plugs have been disconnected from the sockets (just in case)
5...Double lock the front door
6...Put on the house alarm
7...Check that I've put on the house alarm 2 mins later
8...Close all upstairs windows and doors
9...Leave a bedroom light on at the top of the stairs
10.Leave bathroom light on
11..Leave my bedroom door open
12..Leave bedroom lamp on
13..Put fan on to drown out any noise made by intruders
14..Leave house and mobile phones near the bed just in case
15..Pray that I might not die in the night
16..Creep into bed with sheet just below the eyes
17..........................Hear cat miaowing cos I haven't fed him
18..Look out window and see the stupid thing grinning at me
19..'Note to self'.....kill the cat in the morning
20..Back to bed to listen to 'Tales from the Crypt' on my iPod
21..'Note to self'....don't listen to 'Tales from the Crypt' when on own
22..Have a runny bottom