Noises from the loft

It all goes back to my Dad terrifying me near unto death with a 'ghost story.' I was 6 years old and it was one of his rare appearances at home due to ilnesses which kept him in hospital for long periods of time. One dark winter's evening I happened to ask him to tell me a story, you know the type, a common 'Once upon a time' I knew there was trouble brewing when it started out something like 'The monster was hiding beneath the bath, in the dark, with the door shut. He was warm there. And he could hear everything that was said in the house because of his bat like ears. He saw and heard a little boy come into the bathroom, he knew his name was Roger. As soon as he was able the monster was going to leap out with a mighty roar and bite Roger's head off.'
Did you know that if you were able to sneeze with your eyes open they would shoot out of your face at the speed of light? Well, that's what terror does to a person as well.
Dad, always one for finishing a good story then said.."Roger, be a good boy and go into the bathroom and run the water..it's okay..there's nothing.... much..... to scare you."
Which brings me to my story 'Noises from the loft' After a lifetime of night horrors, courtesy of Dad's stories and a little time spent in the police I don't scare easy (lies, if no one is in the house I sleep with the bathroom light on) well, you never know. Three weeks ago I was aroused by tapping in the loft, obviously caused by footsteps perambulating from one end of the loft to the other 'this is the 'Loft Monster' I thought. And on it went..tap..tap..tap, then the mutterings and dark curses, followed by strange glowing lights. Then as I listened more closely the footsteps beat out an old familiar rhythm. I'd heard the sound on the TV before, you know, those documentaries of The German Army marching into France..tap..tap..tap
Yes, I thought as much. It was Obengroupenfueher Linda searching for goodness knows what up there. But that's okay. But at 6am?
What really alarms is that this only happens when the moon is full.
Need to go to the bathroom and see what inadvertent gravity has done to my bladder.