Three strikes (well five) and you're out

It's 'late' in Linda's book. As I write this it is 06.40BST and having nothing better to do at this unearthly hour apart from wishing Dracula night night, I will explain the title.

Strike 1...Alarm on Linda's phone goes, always at 05.00 hrs. I awake before her, as per usual. I don't mind but the phone is always placed in some form of bowl near to the bed. When the phone alarm goes off it sets in motion an Irish Jig causing said instrument to go nuts in the bowl.
So deep in golden slumbers where a bogeyman is under the bath, the cacophany of sound and Hurricane Katrina erupts. I am convinced that this is a mini version of the dawn of time, you know, the Big Bang.

Strike 2...The Matriarch is up looking for 'a brown belt'..."Have you seen it?"
In our bedroom we have what is quaintly called 'sliding doors' They are past their useful existence, and make a screeching sound like a dessert spoon being dragged from tightly clenched molars. Well, I haven't seen it and suggest putting the light on. Light goes on and burns the early morning mist from the corneas.

Strike 3...Having found the brown belt I hear Linda looking through a bag, a bag with zips on, lots of them. The sound of the zips going like fiddler's elbows reminds me of two things 1.. Searching a Goth for drugs. I mean, how many zips do they want on their outer attire? 2...Is she practising to become senile with the zippy thing?

Strike 3...Captain Zippy now goes downstairs. Peace and quiet I thought. The house alarm goes off.

Strike 4...Why does crockery make so much noise? When Linda sorts the dishes it sounds and looks like an old time performer juggling crockery on 'Sunday Night at the London Palladium'

Strike 5...Now bemused by the whole daily start to life I lie there, quietly "Has she gone yet?"
No. Up the stairs she stampedes and into Rodgie's domain.."Could you move the car please?"

So here I sit.

Think I'll wake Rachael up.

Oh Adjie....

Bye mae looves