Pyjama party in ASDA

There is a growing trend in Glasgow for women who obviously imagine there is a competion called' Royston's Next Top Model'
Rules are simple enough:-

1...You must wear PJ bottoms the would befit an oaf of the first order but look the part in the hills of Afghanistan

2...You must be spray tanned with horse urine to just set the colour right. No other urine will do.

3...You must be brave enough to come out and 'shop' when it's raining and cold.

4...Always bite your fingernails in view of the non interested public.

5...Always have an excruciated worried look on your face.

6...Always walk with arms folded

7...ALWAYS get in the queue for the cashline and ponce around pretending you have money in there that you have actually earned

8...Always have a fag on the go. Not a dog end, too lasse-faire, an extra long one. Preferably one you've rolled yourself with Old Holborn, Golden Virginia or Hearts of Oak

Do all these things and your card is marked for onwards and upwards. Oh, and one last thing, go about with a face like a bulldog chewing a wasp.

The prizes for the next Top Model are top of the range

1...Getting to wear Liedenhosen at Larkhall's 'Das Kar Boot Sale'

2...Promise of a centerfold photo shoot with 'Farmer's Weekly'

3...Handing out free lemonade in George Square on Hogmanay

4...Pin up girl at 'The Barra's' and finally.

5...Free colouring in book (crayons not included)

So many contenders

Bye mae looves